Newsflash: Body shaming is passé! There is a new shaming trend that has taken over the world and it is called Mom Shaming. I am guilty of it and so are you. But it has gone beyond limits and it must STOP RIGHT NOW! As a first-time mother, I am critical of my parenting style and decisions—trust me it is good, if it is limited to my realisation. But it becomes nasty when we judge other mothers based on their decisions in life and motherhood. So, what is MOM SHAMING? Mom shaming is a culture where people (most of the time mothers) consciously or unconsciously criticise, disgrace and question the choices they make.
A survey found that 80% of moms have been “MOM SHAMED”, mostly by other moms- Huffington Post
Courtsey: Huffington Post
No! You don’t have to change yourself or your parenting skills. Take a deep breath and tell yourself,
“You are doing great!” and you will not be a part of mom shaming.
Here are 4 annoying MOM SHAMING that need to stop right now:
To be or not to be
The choice of being a mother is probably a very important decision of a women’s life. She must let go so many things in life to become a mother. You become a mother the moment you decide to embrace this life experience. I remember one of my friend called me up and said, “It has been five years of marriage and you still don’t have a baby!” This is not only absurd but also irrelevant. There is no correlation between number of years in marriage and having a baby. If I am not prepared to have a baby, I will not have a baby. If you don’t see a baby in my arm, then don’t ask why I still don’t have a baby. It is none of your business.
I am a big advocate of “Breastfeeding” and support “Breast is best” comment. I will be brutally honest, here, I have criticized moms for choosing formula milk over human milk. I eventually realized that this opinion of mine needs to stop ASAP. You have no idea what is the other side of the story. Maybe she can’t, maybe she doesn’t want to or maybe she is going through postpartum depression. Whatever the reason, I have no business to question, judge or criticize other women.
I have been lucky that I got immense support for breastfeeding my daughter. I have breastfed her on land, air, and water without being judged. But there are women who are being shamed for feeding their baby. I strongly feel that mothers should not get discouraged or embarrassed feeding human milk, no matter where they are.
“Bottle” and “Breastfeeding” shaming should stop immediately!
Stay at home vs Working mom
This battle is real! I have been slammed for being “Stay at Home” mother. There is no end to this ancient war. If a mother decides to stay at home and look after her kids, she is criticised by working moms for neglecting her career, being reliant on the partner, lack of confidence or simply being lazy. Remember: You will be criticised more than any other person out there. And guess what? Who cares. People who think you sit at home and relax all day long have absolutely no idea what they are talking about, and it’s best to just ignore them. Once you start doing that, you’ll be a lot better off.
If a mother works, she is criticised for leaving her children in day care and relatives, not giving enough time to her kids and ignoring motherhood. But that’s a choice we take as a parent. Maybe she wants to perfectly balance her career and motherhood. Who said that you should let go your career to become a parent.
Sadly, its mom who slams mom for their choices in life.
Being a parent is the toughest thing in the world. It becomes even more exhausting when you are scrutinised for the parenting style you adopt. If you keep your child close and monitor every single action of your kid, then you are accused of being a “Authoritative” parent. If you set them free and they do something wrong, then you are called a “Permissive” parent. These are just labels given to parents based on the way they handle their kids. Kids have their own brain and temperament, they are not machines. As a parent, our job is to give them some space and eventually prepare them to face the world on their own. There is no perfect parenting style, so let’s take a deep breath and don’t judge.
Motherhood is hard as hell and don’t make it even more harder for moms by judging, criticising and mocking them. I did everything right as a first-time mother and I need no suggestion. Don’t dare to attack on my self-esteem and tell me about the opportunity lost. I want to tell all the mothers out there that you are being loved and appreciated for all the efforts and sacrifices you do to take care of your child. Don’t get affected with all the nasty comments and suggestions.
Because I really don’t care!